Again it’s time to salute the kid-shenanigans we love to laugh about… once the embarrassment wears off. Here’s today’s Top 10 from my journal and a few that happened this week. Enjoy!
Need to catch up? Wondering who these characters are? Then start here: On Filial Cannibalism – and – Weird Stuff Kids Say, Part 1.
10. Then-3-yr-old Drama Boy: “Can I watch Star Whores?” I thought we’d corrected his pronunciation to Star Wars until he saw a bald black gentleman seated in the pew behind us at church. He pointed and shouted, “Look! It’s Mace Windu! From Star Whores!”
9. Baby Princess: “Why do the guys in movies kiss all the girls? Don’t they get a mouthful of germs?”
8. Then-3-yr-old Panda Boy watched Dad get ready for work.
PB: “What are you doing to your hair?”
Dad: “I’m using hair gel on it.”
PB: “Huh. So can I put Jell-O on my head too?”
7. This morning Baby Princess frowned and said, “Every time I hold hands with a boy, I end up with hurt feelings.”
6. The terrible twos were rocky for Drama Boy. I remember a time he was sent kicking and screaming to his room for a time out. I ignored the tirade for several minutes, then after an eerie silence, I heard him say through the door, “I need to count to ten!”
5. Flirty Boy’s Sunday school teacher pulled me aside several weeks after he’d joined the class of 3-yr-olds. She wanted to know his name, and I found it strange she didn’t already know. “He only answers to Princess Leia,” she explained. Not long after that, the teacher told me he insisted he was Batman. Apparently he refused to join the lesson because he’d brought a toy phone and said he was busy talking to Robin.
4. Once we learned we were expecting twins, we decided it was time to buy the dreaded minivan so we could fit all four kids. On the way home in our new minivan, then-4-yr-old Drama Boy started crying. I asked what’s wrong, and he said, “I don’t want a van. I want a boat!”
3. We ended up with an extra present at Panda Boy’s last birthday party, so we told him it was from Nallo, the cat. In our family it’s tradition for the birthday boy or girl to make a wish for the gift giver. What did he wish for the cat? He said, “I wish Nallo… thumbs!”
2. I gave then-4-yr-old Drama Boy a hug at bedtime and said, “You’re my favorite four-year-old.”
He replied, “And you’re my favorite 26-year-old.”
1. Baby Princess caught me eating chocolate caramel squares and asked for one, so I passed it over.
She unwrapped it and took a closer look, then handed it back, saying, “I don’t like this.”
Me: “How could you not like it? It’s chocolate and caramel. What’s not to like? It’s divine!”
BP: “I don’t like divine chocolate.”
Still laughing? There’s more where that came from…
- On Filial Cannibalism – and – Weird Stuff Kids Say
- Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 2: Darth Naked
- Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 3: Perfect Timing
- Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 4: Double Trouble featuring Christi Corbett
- Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 5: Panda Boy
- Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 7: Mother’s Curse