Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 4: Double Trouble Featuring Christi Corbett

Girl Twin learns the hard way a Koosh Ball sticks in long hair"

Girl Twin learns the hard way a Koosh Ball sticks in long hair”

It’s high time for more in the Weird Stuff Kids Say series. Allow me to introduce my good friend and fellow author Christi Corbett, who’s here to present Part 4: Twin Humor. Christi and I have something in common. We both know what it’s like to change a diaper with one hand and fix a Lego rocket with the other. That’s right – we’re both mothers of twins. It’s as crazy as you think. Read on for a glimpse of the Double Trouble life.
 
Need to catch up? Check out Part 1: On Filial CannibalismPart 2: “Darth Naked,” and Part 3: Impeccable Timing.  
 

Thank you so much Moriah for allowing me to host your blog! I’ve really enjoyed your “Weird Stuff Kids Say” series, and I’m honored to be asked to add my own funny/exasperated moments. Of which, I have an embarrassing plethora to choose from.

Quick introduction—I’m a still-unpublished but forever hopeful writer of Historical Romance. Seven years ago I left my job at a CBS affiliate where I wrote/produced television commercials and a weekly, local television show to raise my boy/girl twins—a job that is more challenging, rewarding, and outright wonderful than anything I’ve ever experienced. Add to this that we’ve recently adopted a Great Pyrenees/Black Lab mix puppy. He’s three months old now, and the vet is already snickering at his size and recommending we move to “Large Breed” puppy food as opposed to “Normal, aka, not the size of a small horse” size puppy food.

Boy Twin practicing his cowboy walk, wearing superhero pajamas and a Dr. Seuss backpack.

Boy Twin practicing his cowboy walk, wearing superhero pajamas and a Dr. Seuss backpack.

Being a mom means sometimes I say or overhear some seriously weird things. Here are some of the latest highlights…

1. No, I’m not making you a Spagettios sandwich.

(Upon further pondering, I’m rethinking this one. Maybe they’re onto something? I mean, people eat Sloppy Joes right? Can’t be much different.)

2. My scarf is not a jump rope.

(In saying this, I had to put aside my pride at how well my daughter was jumping. I mean, someone has to be the grown-up here)

3. Why is the dog sitting at the kitchen table?

(Little did I know I would soon restate this, except it would be “Why is the dog STANDING ON the kitchen table.”)

4. My son and I were on the couch, staring at our new puppy frolicking about the living room. I asked my son, “Do you think puppy is getting bigger?” Just then, the puppy ran directly into a wall. My son thought for a moment, and then replied, “Yes, but not smarter.”

5. A box of 100 crayons hit the floor in the kitchen with a fantastic, clattering crash. Girl Twin frantically states to Boy Twin, “Help me pick these up, or puppy will eat these and poop out pink!”

(I have to admit, that would be a funny sight to behold.)

6. Girl Twin makes the afternoon snack of two bowls of crackers, and then calls her brother in the kitchen. She picks the bowl with less crackers, much to Boy Twin’s surprise, until she says this…“Here, you can have the bigger bowl. They all fell on the ground anyway.”

(I worked as a waitress during high school and part of college and can attest to the old saying of never irritate the chef.)

7. While I was holed up writing my latest future best seller J, my wonderful husband decided it would be fun to let our twins watch the show “Finding Bigfoot”. When the show ended, our twins were of course too scared to go down the hallway, so my hubby gave the following reassurances:

“You know there’s no Squatch in the bathroom so just go brush your teeth.”

“No self-respecting Squatch is going to go in your room; it’s too messy in there.”

8. Me to twins, “Quit calling the puppy’s bottom “The Poopy Hole”.

9. Me to twins, “Both of you need to quit licking the floor right now!”

(They were three years old at the time, but that doesn’t really make it any better.)

10. And finally, here’s something I said about ten minutes ago, “Quit trying to hypnotize the cat and get out of this room. I need to write this article for Moriah’s blog!”

Readers, do you have your own funny/weird stories to share? I’d love to hear from you!

Visit Christi Corbett’s blog: http://christicorbett.wordpress.com for more hilarious stories, such as CSI Mommy, Episode: “I didn’t do it!” More kid humor recommended by Christi: Family Guy – Lois Mom Mum Mommy

UPDATE: Continue the Weird Stuff Kids Say Series with Part 5: Panda Boy

Comments

  1. christicorbett says:

    Moriah,

    Thanks so much for having me on today! Such fun, and I hope to hear lots of funny stories!

    Christi Corbett

    • You bet! Thanks for making me laugh today, Christi. This is a great post. I do have a funny one from my sister-in-law, who’s expecting her third baby: “I was rubbing my belly, and [my three-year-old daughter] asked if there was a baby in there. I said yes, she gasped and said, “Mommy, dont eat babies!”

      • christicorbett says:

        Moriah,

        I love that one! Kids say the best stuff, and never cease to amaze me with what they come up with.

        Christi Corbett

  2. This was hilarious! Thanks for the smiles and laughs. I don’t have children of my own so I don’t have any wacky stories, but reading this warmed my heart. Thanks for sharing!

    • christicorbett says:

      C.S.,

      Thanks so much for checking it out, and I’m glad you enjoyed the brief glimpse into my day and all the fun raising twins entails.

      Are you a writer?

      Christi Corbett

  3. Christi, the joys of motherhood doubled … what a lark and a challenge they must be. Loved this post. It’s two-two .. two treats in one 🙂

  4. Bonnie Traher says:

    Wow how do I follow that. Kids come up with some pretty interesting things.

Trackbacks

  1. […] check out my post, Weird Stuff Kids Say, over at Moriah’s. I reveal all the fun/weird/wowdidyouactuallyjustsaythat things my twins […]

  2. […] Check out Weird Stuff Kids Say – Part 4, featuring Christi Corbett “Double Trouble” […]

  3. […] give a warm welcome to Christi Corbett, debut author. You’ll remember her guest post here on Weird Stuff Kids Say: Twin Humor. Today she’s here to talk about her new release, Along the Way Home, which is at the top of […]

  4. […] Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 4: Double Trouble featuring Christi Corbett […]

Go ahead, tell us what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: