Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 5: Panda Boy

"What? I forgot my safety harness? Oh, whoops."

“What? I forgot my safety harness? Oh, whoops.”

Forget the Nobel Prize and Carnegie Hall, sometimes my sole ambition for my children is that they grow up to stay out of jail. You might think I’m being melodramatic, but does the school principal have you on speed dial? Does your first grader climb the flagpole or moon his classmates at recess? Don’t get me started on the “kissing” incidents.

Go ahead, laugh it up. It’s less amusing for me, responsible for the character development of the four little souls whose penchant for mischief can only be explained if the “Mother’s Curse” is real. You know, “I hope one day you have a kid who’s just like you!” My mom just laughs and laughs when I call to commiserate.

For your amusement, here are a few lines I overheard my six-year-old son say the past week. Remember Panda Boy? Nick-named after Kung-Fu Panda for his barrel-like physique and ability to climb almost anything? My doorways are framed on all three sides by footprints of a suspicious size, which he swears are not his. Panda Boy doesn’t just get into trouble; it’s practically his middle name.

“When I grow up, I want to be a robber. The kind who doesn’t get caught.”

“Can you blow up a balloon and chew gum at the same time?”

“I wouldn’t really blame [big brother] for getting grounded. It was Satan, he tricked me.”

His homemade Mother’s Day card to me: “I love you like old people love chicken.”

“I kissed Tiffany hanging upside down on the monkey bars. I made a big fool of myself.”

“I was walking down the hall, wearing [twin sister’s] dress, and I realized, I’m a man!”

This kid packed his own suitcase for a weekend trip to grandma’s house. Glad I inspected his bag before he left: 7 pairs underwear, and 1 Batman action figure. That’s all he thought he needed.

I know. I have my hands full…

For more domestic hilarity, catch up on Weird Stuff Kids Say Parts 1 – 4. And don’t miss Weird Stuff Kids Say Part 6: Shenanigans!

 

Comments

  1. christicorbett says:

    Moriah,

    When I saw the title on my email inbox I went and grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and settled in for some fun.

    And wow did you deliver! I almost spewed my said fresh coffee on my screen when I read the first “quote” from your little one. How funny!

    The suitcase thing sounds EXACTLY like my son, and sadly, my husband, who takes it as a personal challenge to bring the LEAST amount of clothing on trips. Seriously.

    Love these posts and looking forward to the next one!

    Christi Corbett

  2. Kim Bowman says:

    this is my child through and through! And he’s 4!!! I can’t imagine when he’s 6! OH BOY!

    • You said it, Kim. Some kids never really get over the “terrible twos.” The random naughty stuff doesn’t quit. They say we’ll find it funny one day. I guess we should hang on…

  3. jeff7salter says:

    LOL. Never let a kid pack for him- or her-self.
    Not only will you be amazed at what they neglected to bring … but you’ll be stunned by their selections to include.

    • Good advice, Jeff. I’ll bet you have some great stories…

      • jeff7salter says:

        My wife prob remembers more than I do. One I *DO* recall vividly was when we were heading to Vicksburg for a long weekend. I told the kids to be certain to pack a jacket, but they both balked and refused. They had their own ideas about weather. So after we arrived at V-burg and hooked up with the other relatives — it was a reunion — there was an outdoor excursion and the kids were freezing! My point having been made, I went to the car and retrieved their jackets, which I’d packed for them ANYWAY, knowing that being prepared is better than being cold. I think they learned something … but who knows.

  4. And here I’ve been whining about having two preschoolers and not being able to get anything done. >.< I have been rightly humbled, madame. As they say in the south… "Bless your heart." and "Lawd have mercy." 😉

    Seriously, though…I need to compare Mama notes with you. How do you get ANY books written, let alone the quality you seem to manage?!

    • Angela – You have two preschoolers? I bet you get your share of weirdness. Well thanks, but I don’t balance everything very well. Sometimes I let my kids while they run around like crazy while I write, but usually I just stay up late. Incurable night owl here.

Trackbacks

  1. […] UPDATE: Continue the Weird Stuff Kids Say Series with Part 5: Panda Boy […]

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