Let’s give it up for my good friend Christi Corbett, who’s here to share some funny kid stories and give us a sneak peek into her fabulous new historical western romance, Tainted Dreams. Take it away, Christi!
Thank you, Moriah, for having me on your blog again! This is my third time, and a lot has changed in my life. January of 2013 was my first time hosting: my twins were seven, we’d just adopted a Great Pyrenees/Lab mix puppy, and I was still an unpublished author. June of 2013 was my second time hosting: my twins were eight, our puppy was growing fast, and I was celebrating the release of my debut novel, Along the Way Home, a Historical Western Romance about a family and their trail guide’s adventures on the 1843 Oregon Trail.
My twins are now ten years old, our puppy is now 100 pounds, my debut novel won the 2013 RONE Award for Best American Historical, and I’m celebrating the release of my second novel, Tainted Dreams, a Historical Western Romance that shows how difficult it was for survivors of the Oregon Trail to stake claims in Oregon Territory.
And it’s still just as rowdy and ridiculous at the Corbett house. I’m constantly saying or overhearing weird things; here’s a few recent gems…
Boy twin to Girl twin, “Let’s talk like turtles for the rest of the day.”
Me to girl twin: “Quit making sculptures in the butter.”
Me to twins: “If you can’t figure out how to say the ending of Massachusetts, you can’t say it at all.”
Boy twin, with a Popsicle hanging from his top lip, says to Girl twin, “Mommy’s right! Cold stuff does stick to your lips!”
Me to Girl twin: “Hold your popsicle stick with your hands, not your toes.”
Me to Boy twin: “A rubber snake is not a lasso, and the cat is not a cow.”
Hubby to Boy twin, “You can either clean your room, or smell my socks. What’s it gonna be?”
Me to Boy twin, “Quit driving your Matchbox car through the hole in your jeans.”
Me to Boy twin, “Your lizard doesn’t belong in the fruit bowl.”
Me to twins: “If the smoke detector goes off it’s okay. There’s not a fire, it’s just dinner.”
Girl twin, after observing hubby create a smoke-filled kitchen by leaving a pan on the burner too long, “Next time, Smokey the Bear should help you cook the bacon.”
Boy twin peeked inside oven and gave me this report: “Mommy, dinner looks a bit…sketchy.”
Me to Boy twin: “I don’t care that you’re in the groove. Stop dancing and eat your dinner.”
Me to twins after I’ve prepped dinner (a casserole) and getting ready to put it in the oven, “Whoever took the entire roll of aluminum foil needs to give it back to me right now.”
Me to Boy twin: “Did you just give me a shrimp that fell on the kitchen floor?” He looks at me in bewilderment. “I brushed it off first.”
Boy twin to me, “Do you spell the word ‘enough’ with one F or two?”
And finally, this morning the dog got on the counter and ate half a stick of butter. Again.
Readers, what’s something weird you’ve said lately? I’d love to hear from you!
Check out Christi’s new historical western romance, Tainted Dreams, standalone sequel to her award-winning and bestselling debut, Along the Way Home.
Sometimes, the end justifies the means…
Kate Davis arrived into Oregon City transformed from a pampered daughter of fortune into a determined woman with a plan–fulfill her father’s dream of starting a horse ranch in Oregon Territory.
She quickly discovers a harsh truth–even thousands of miles from home, on an unsettled land America doesn’t yet own or govern, gender still takes precedence over ability. Refusing to be ruled once again by the stifling laws and societal norms she’d escaped by leaving Virginia, Kate begins creatively claiming what is rightfully hers.
Until a visit to the land office changes everything.
Jake Fitzpatrick guided Kate across the Oregon Trail, and fell in love with her along the way. Now he wants to marry her and build a life together, but a ruthless man from Jake’s past threatens to reveal a dark secret, and destroy everything he’s worked so hard to achieve.
Kate entered the hotel lobby and stood behind William and Margaret. While she waited for Jake to join her, she gazed around the spacious room.
Rag rugs dotted the gleaming pine board floor and a marble-topped oak desk sat in the back left corner. Navy plaid curtains on both windows—one overlooking the front steps and the other facing the alley—were pulled closed, yet the room was well lit by three oil lamps and warmed by flames flickering in the stone fireplace at the back wall.
Behind her, Jake shut the door and then stepped so close she felt the brim of her hat brush against his chest.
Jake—the man who’d hired on as her family’s guide across the Oregon Trail.
Jake—the man who’d supported her through the darkest time of her life.
Jake—the man she loved.
“William! You’re finally here!” The man Kate assumed to be William’s uncle rose to his feet and hurried around the desk and across the room. Though by the creases around his eyes he looked to be in his early forties, he had hair the color of coal, broad shoulders, and a trim waist. His clothing, while outdated by nearly a decade, was impeccable, and a brown silk cravat perfectly arranged at his neck and embellished with a gold pin completed the outfit.
This man was a welcome change from the other men she’d seen so far in the town.
“I’ve been waiting for you to walk through that door for weeks.” He grabbed William into a fierce hug, then pulled back to look at him again. “I was worried you’d run into trouble.”
“We did,” William replied.
“We?” William’s uncle finally took note of the others lingering at his door. His eyes scanned the ragged group, narrowed briefly when they reached Jake, and then returned to his nephew.
William removed his hat and beckoned Margaret a few steps forward to join him. “Uncle Theodore, I’m proud to introduce you to my wife, Margaret. We married the day before departing from Independence.”
Theodore took Margaret’s hand and bowed with a grace and confidence Kate hadn’t seen since the ballrooms of Virginia. “Please pardon my initial shock. My nephew is a lucky man to have a bride as lovely as you.”
“Thank you,” Margaret murmured, absently running her free hand along the curve of her waist.
“You’re welcome.” Theodore released her hand. “ʺI consider it a privilege to have you as a member of our family.” He straightened and eyed the lobby doorway, where Kate still waited with Jake at her back. His smile faded. “William, you mentioned trouble earlier, a fact that doesn’t surprise me now that I see who you kept company with on the trail.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open. What had she or Jake done to offend this man?
“The return to civilization can be a tough adjustment.” Theodore motioned to William’s bare head, then to his hat clutched against his leg. “I’m pleased to see you haven’t forgotten the formalities of polite society.”
Kate’s cheeks flamed. Propriety had been ingrained in her since birth, but she’d only been wearing a man’s hat since July—her father’s hat, willed to her on his deathbed. While she had no intention of replacing it with a bonnet any time soon, she did intend to do her best to act according to society’s conventions. She quickly pulled off the hat and ran her free hand from her forehead to her collar several times in a futile attempt to tame her wild curls.
Sighting Theodore’s slack-jawed astonishment, Kate bit her tongue to stifle a laugh. He likely regretted his pointed words; she didn’t need to further add to his embarrassment.
“Seems your companion has better manners than you.” Theodore nodded toward Jake, who, to Kate’s surprise, still hadn’t removed his hat.
“Seems so,” Jake replied, slowly pushing up the brim with one finger.
Kate kept quiet, but wondered what would possess Jake to purposely be so rude to someone he’d just met. Especially a prominent business owner, one that could potentially serve as an ally if she ran into trouble with her future plans.
“William,” Theodore said, smoothly turning to address his nephew again, “who is this beautiful creature hiding beneath those ill-fitting clothes?”
William glanced at Jake and gave a nearly imperceptible shrug of apology, then focused again on his uncle. “I’m pleased to introduce Katherine Davis—”
“And the infamous trail guide, Jake Fitzpatrick,” Theodore finished.
“You know each other?” William asked, his tone mirroring Kate’s own surprise.
Jake gave a curt nod. “We’ve met.”
“And then some.” Theodore’s laugh seemed more smug than jovial. “We came across the trail together a few years ago.”
Margaret clapped her hands together in delight. “Isn’t that something? Two friends meet again after all this time.”
“Friend isn’t a word I’d use to describe him,” Jake said, removing his hat and stepping beside Kate in one fluid move.
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About the Author
Christi Corbett, winner of the 2013 RONE Award for Best American Historical novel, lives in a small town in Oregon with her husband and their twin children. The home’s location holds a special place in her writing life; it stands just six hundred feet from the original Applegate Trail and the view from her back door is a hill travelers looked upon years ago as they explored the Oregon Territory and beyond.
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Also check out…
More of Christi’s funny kids stories: https://moriahdensley.com/2013/01/08/weird-stuff-kids-say-part-4-featuring-christi-corbett/
Christi’s radio interview on blogtalkradio:
Christi’s InD’Tale Magazine review of 2013 RONE Award-winning Best American Historical Novel Along the Way Home: http://indtale.com/reviews/historical/along-way-home